Ohana

What’s up everyone. If you are reading this around the time I wrote it then it is the weekend of the 4th of July. I’m a self proclaimed introvert so I normally don’t go anywhere. I’ll pull my grill out which I call Big Bertha and make me some burgers and sausages. But this year is the first year after my father passed so it was a little different. Like most introverts I tried to come up with ways to get out of going. But mom insisted so I went. The only thing about it was it was 3 HOURS AWAY! Not to mention it was was in the middle of Trump country and not the we have the right to vote Trump country. I’m talking “All Lives Matters, what are you doing here?” Trump country. But I really wanted grilled food and it was a semi housewarming for my cousin so I went.

After the Lord of the Rings journey through western Maryland we arrived. Cousin took me on the obligatory tour of the house. Met all the non relatives and found my corner to people watch. Then the triggers showed up. My family have been a huge trigger for me for as long as I can remember. Not all mind you but the right ones. But this is a journey of bettering myself. So I tackled the triggers head on. They go into the bragging of their children and my mom would slide in a cool fact about me. Deflecting the attacks. It turned into one of those functions I always wanted to be apart of. I even got the when you having some kids of your own speech. I saw family I haven’t seen since I was in high school and even got on the court and showed them the old man still got it. Wasn’t much but knew lol. Didn’t stay for the fireworks because I didn’t feel comfortable driving back through in the dark. Said my good-byes and headed back to Baltimore.

On the way back I couldn’t help but smile and think I had a great time. I’m glad I came. Faced my triggers in a positive way. It was a good day. I slept all day today but I woke up feeling good about what is next on this healing journey. This really wasn’t about my anxiety but I thought I share this. Until next time.